its safe to say i had a good day today?
11:06pm 15/4/25
feeling: HAPPY!!
i know i said i was going to talk about my break up and my relationship in more detail but i've been having too much of a good time to even really sit down and talk about it rn.
short thing about dreams, guilt and my dead mother. its not really relevant to how my day went but it still happened today.
i did wake up in the middle of the night (actually it was 6am) crying because i had a dream about my mother, and i just kept saying "i'm sorry" through tears. i think this is going to be a common occurance with me because if im being honest, i havent worked through my feelings about her death properly.
today it rained, meaning my hayfever wasnt so bad, in fact i didnt have to take any meds. I went on a lovely walk through this nature reserve near my house. the weather was my type too: cloudly, windy but not strong winds nor is it freezing. just right. i felt like goldilocks.
i walked along paths which are mostly in the open spaces. i also need to mention i didnt take my phone with me! i took my camera (a sony cybershot) and my discman and a 2 cds (2 mixes i made and burned on to discs - one a industrial metal mix, another neo-soul).
i also walked through my favourite part, the foresty bit at the bottom of the grassy open space. here are some photos i took today:
i then had to get ready for this lesbian discussion group i've wanted to join for months!! i found out about the session at 1 am and made it my mission to get there, espeically because im trying to deal with my lesbian lonliness (it can feel really isolating at times).
the discussion was about "black lesbian representation in media" and that seemed right up my alley. and this time the venue it was at was easily accessible (cheaper) for me to get to.
so, it was in brixton, and if you've been to brixton you will probably know about the RITZY cinema, and today there was a preview/early screening for the film "Sinners" and the queue was SO LONG (i got a photo), it has also has a marquee that sometimes has funny and punnily messages for the film showings.
i do want to mention the film has been rlly well recieved atm and the director, Ryan Coogler made a video with KODAK talking about film formats and how they shot the film for IMAX and seeing people talk so passionately about their craft is so sweet to me and i love love love listening to directors talk about film!!! i love the video so much:
anyways back to the lesbian discussion. i met a really nice group of lesbians who i'm hoping i become proper friends with? the topics of these sessions are right up my alley and i love the idea of just hanging out with other lesbians discussing these topics, i felt so safe and secure.
i didnt get any photos of the centre i went to, nor the leaflets. i wanted to take a bunch and scan the,, they looked so cool.
i do have photos of what i wore. I wore my lesbian flag earrings, my DYKE necklace (my ex gave it to me, i cant let it go im sorry), and i've been getting into layering lately. exciting i know! i wore a cami top, a button up blouse and a waistcoat and some low waist skinny jeans with my panda keychains dangling from the belt loop!
the earring photo is out of focus, sorry! i tried
the outfit photo is in a aspect ratio that doesnt go well with the other photos here. so treat it like a surprise
the jeans make me look so short omg
ᵕ_ᵕ̩̩ (there is nothing wrong with being short btw, i just mean i dont look 5'5 in this).
i wonder what else is in store for me.....